Small is beautiful

Watching the final episodes of 'The Farmer wants a Wife' reminded me of how cumbersome the body microphones are and how far we have come in developing them. All reality shows use them to keep up with everything the contestants are saying... amorous whispers and all! When they first came on the scene, they were the size of an average transistor radio which limited your movements on camera greatly. If dressed in period costume, the bulky equipment ruined the line of the clothes and even in modern dress did nothing to improve the look. On top of this, the tiny microphone had to be strapped close to the sound which usually meant on the cleavage section of the bra - it was then stuck there with masking tape. The small transmitter box was attached round the waist.

The process of lowering the box down the front of the costume or passing it upward with microphone to the right position could be awkward and embarrassing and usually meant going behind a tree or back to the caravan and it was always done after the wardrobe was put on. Body mikes are expensive and nobody had more than three which were generally being used right up until your scene. All the technicians were men until recently which meant that you had a nice pleasant person approaching you with hand fulls of equipment and a pitying smile on his face. I used to wonder why they could put a man on the moon and yet still have these cumbersome bits of technology in an industry that played such a large part in America's GDP? And what about spies? If this is what 007 used, he would have been gone in a minute.

Along came Mao's Last Dancer' and joy of joy, a female sound technician! Wearing a T Shirt that said 'Double my Entendre' she approached carrying a business card size metal box which was light and nifty. Even so, there are problems having a microphone so closely attached that you forget it is there. You can have moments when you talk to your best friend on set and tell them what you really think about something...or someone. Also, you may be waiting for a set to be re lit or another shot to be set up and think you have time to rush to the women's loo. It is possible to do all of these things without realising you are still 'miked.' There is an on/off button on the actual transmitter but you may not be able to get at it. So the sound recordist may be sitting there all the while with his earphones on and an amused look on his face.

On the last day of 'Mao', when she approached me to take my body mike again, I said I was sorry I had not been able to get to the "OFF' button. She shrugged and said they always turn them off from the main Sound Recorder after every shot. Oh really? Hmm. REALLY?

Of course they don't always work perfectly either. Apparently Nicole so tired of having her microphone slithered under her saddle and into her costume during the 'Australia' shoot that she ripped it off and who can blame her? What with horses and saddles and cattle etc. etc. you don't want to hear "NO GOOD FOR SOUND" after you have done your best.

To see Nicole Kidman riding in 'Australia', click here: